This being the month of love and all, I’m sending you a suggestion for a Valentine to give yourself. It’s the gift of forgiveness.
A number of years ago I was in a very dark place, stuck in the energy of anger and betrayal. “How could he do that to me?” I carried my bitterness so close to my heart that regardless of what I was doing, in the back of my mind, my anger was brewing. At the drop of a hat, I’d find myself crying and trying to hide tears from my children.
From this place of misery, I reached out to my sister. I knew something had to change. Jeanne told me about a prayer she’d learned that might help. She called it a “Miracle Prayer.” If you say it at least once a day for 30 days in a row, a miracle will happen. The situation simply cannot remain the same. Either you change or the other person changes, or both. She did warn that if I forgot a day, I’d have to start the 30 day count all over again.
Here’s the prayer:
“Dear ______. I’m praying to you, ______. Thank you for doing to me all that you have done. Forgive me for doing to you all that I have done. God bless you and release you to your highest good. I love you, _______.” Amen.
I was so miserable I decided to give it a try. Jeanne said it had more power if spoken out loud. The first few times I read the words, they caught in my throat. I couldn’t get them out. All I could think was, “What in the world have I ever done to you?” (That’s the thing about anger. It always seems to be steeped in self-righteousness.) I kept trying and found I could say the prayer gritting my teeth, but I was saying it. Then as the days passed, I gradually began to see that perhaps I had contributed something to the situation. Maybe he had also been hurt.
I typed the prayer on a piece of paper and scotch taped it to a small piece of cardboard that I carried in my pocket. It served as a reminder whenever I felt it there. I said that prayer many more times a day than once. And, I said it for longer than 30 days. And, I got my miracle. My resentment gradually melted away. I was able to take responsibility for my own actions and my contribution to the events that felt so hurtful. I learned how to forgive – not only him but also myself.
So, here’s my suggestion for the greatest Valentine you’ll ever receive. Give yourself the gift of forgiving whoever or whatever is causing you pain. You acted with as much love and integrity as possible for who you were at that time. Are you ready now to grow and expand beyond that point? Allow yourself to put down the burden of carrying that anger. Life can be so much easier without it.
I wish you great love and joy during this time of giving and receiving Valentines.
If it’s difficult to allow yourself to release anger and feel joy, contact me to help reconnect you to your joy. Learn to love your life again.